As most of you will eventually find out, everything that I learn and believe to be useful and worth trying, I try on my 2 boys. In reading chapters 3 and 4, I have my very strong feelings on punishment and have so much to learn when it comes to problem solving with my boys, let alone with my future students.
I went to elementary school during the when a permission slip was sent home to the parents to sign allowing the principle to spank/paddle your child, without it the principle could not touch them. I was a "lucky" one, my mother never signed the permission slip. But on the other hand I knew if I ever misbehaved in school or go in trouble I would most definitely pay the price at home from my mother with a good bum whoopin.
I have to be honest, I never thought of this as a bad thing. I always ended up thinking to myself, "Why did I do that? That was stupid of me to do especially if I knew I could get caught." I always felt and believed in the end that every punishment I received from my mother I out right deserved because I KNEW BETTER. I also respect my mother for all the lessons learned.
I know and realize that today times are very different and so are children. They do and deal with things so much differently than back when I was a child. I also believe that has to do with the bombardment of technology and social media. I see dealing with students on this more "level" playing field/calm like manner they may possibly be more perceptive.
As for the problem solving that was offered in chapter 4, I most definitely will try out the one regarding the math anxiety with my son, who is behaving the same way when it comes time to do his ixl math on the computer at home. Hopefully, I will get a positive result.
I am also seeing and hopefully will become skillful in listening to my kids along with my future students. There are (according to the readings) some benefit to letting the students express themselves and letting them know they are heard and what they have to say means something.
I'm also using my kids as a test lab. A couple things I have tried have worked really well and weren't so hard, but felt a little forced. I'm okay with forced if it works! For example, tonight I was helping my daughter with her homework and instead of pushing her through it and stopping at every error, I concentrated on pointing out the things I felt she was doing well. I didn't talk about "right" or "wrong", only "you wrote very neatly" or "I can tell you are thinking about your answer". The results were amazing and everything I complimented she worked even harder to keep doing. Now, I've had this kind of experience with homework before and it only lasted that one night of success...so we'll see how it works tomorrow!
ReplyDeleteWhile you may not have seen it as a bad thing, that doesn't mean that things are changing just because kids are changing. My dad, who grew up in the 50s and 60s, made it very clear to me once that he would never raise a hand against me or my sister. We were still punished from time to time, no computer, less TV, my sister was grounded a few times. But he had had teachers who openly belittled him in class, or who beat him. My mother went to Catholic school and was terrified of her teachers because they would slap her with a yard stick.
ReplyDeleteIt's not that kids have changed - it's that adults have recognized the cycle of abuse mentioned in the chapter. That if you show a kid it's okay to hurt them, they'll grow up to believe that if they're in power, they can abuse someone, anyone, with less power than them.
My generation did not change how we were portrayed in media so that we would be seen as equals, nor are the current generation of kids. Children do not have power over their own representation. Kids aren't changing - adult's attitudes are.
I just wanted to say I appreciate how realistic your blog is. It is easy to imagine or theorize problem solving and what a 'good teacher' or 'good parent' would do. Your blogs make me really reflect on how life and how to be good at teaching or parenting is a work in progress, a process for growth and development, something that is worked on and not something that is known.
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